I have to be honest here. At one time, I had a hard time with the whole concept of women's retreats. I loved that I gained fellowship with other women and had the opportunity to deepen relationships in a retreat setting. But seriously, the teaching at women's retreats is often very... "fluffy."
The retreat I just went to was amazing. There was a ton of time for fellowship - and 2 glorious hours of uninterrupted, quiet "solo time." (Can you tell I'm an introvert? Side note: One of my dear friends was not nearly so excited as me about "solo time." The poor woman weathered it like a champ though. And I'm still cracking up picturing her mortification at not being able to talk. to. anyone.)
And then there was the teaching. It came nowhere near "fluffy." On Friday night was a very deep, inductive study of Romans 8:1-11. I was so amazed by my friend and former pastor's wife. She took us very deep into the text - and did it in a way that was encouraging and palatable for anyone in the room who struggled with such deep analysis.
Reflecting on this, I am quite confident that every other women's retreat venue I've experienced would have camped out on Romans 8:1 - "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
My friend went so much deeper. She showed us why there is no condemnation: "Because the law of the spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." and so we are to "no longer let sin reign in our mortal bodies."
And then on Saturday, she hit us with this truth in a very real way. She identified 5 areas where she sees the women of this specific church struggling with "Life in the Flesh" versus "Life in the Spirit." There was no beating around the bush. She said, "We've realized that almost every conflict that happens in our church, ladies... They're almost all started by the women. We instigate the problems."
These were the five areas:
The Tongue:
Proverbs 18:21: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit."
I have to admit that I was the most convicted here. And it's almost completely in regard to my parenting. It's funny - for about the first five years of my parenting journey, I don't feel like I struggled with this. But my 2 older children in particular challenge my patience and my temper.
"The tongue should be for BUILDING UP and GIVING GRACE."
"Where there is no whisper, quarreling ceases."
How do you use your tongue?
Insecurity:
Definition of insecurity: a high view of self and a low view of God
Is that the definition you would have come up with? There's so much truth wrapped up in that statement.
Psalm 103 "He remembers that we are but dust." Do you have a proper view of who you are and who God is? The honor goes to him - not us. Why do we feel insecure? Because we're afraid of what others will think of us. Why? Because we want the honor?
In Jeremiah 17, a contrast is made between the man who relies on the flesh and the man who trusts in the Lord. He who relies on the flesh is described with words like "dry," "desert," "parched," and "uninhabited salt land." He who trust in the Lord is "well-watered," "well-rooted," and "fruit-bearing tree."
We need to stop focusing on ourselves. We need to remember who we are and who He is.
Why? Because insecurity makes us...
- fearful in making new relationships and deepening relationships - because we're focused on ourselves.
- think that we don't have enough knowledge or we're not spiritual enough to carry out what God has asked us to do.
And I love what my friend said here, "You might be right. You might not have enough knowledge. You might not be equipped. But that's not an excuse. That's just a reason to get equipped."
Timidity:
Definition: a lack of courage or confidence - easily frightened
In 2 Timothy 1:7, we're told we have been given "a spirit of power, love, and self-control."
It's scary to step out in faith. But we can't just stay where it's safe. If God be for us, who can be against us!?!?
Individualism:
We in America prize this so highly above everything else. We think, "I'm fine by myself."
This is definitely my second place of conviction. My introverted self really loves being alone. But we truly do need each other. We're commanded to love one another, to be devoted to one another, to have the same mine as one another, to serve one another, to build each other up, and to encourage, bear with, and forgive one another.
Every moment of every day, we make decisions based on what is best for us right now. But seriously. do we even know our neighbors' names?
Self-Preservation:
Our culture values safety. I feel like that really doesn't need to be illustrated. But the fact of the matter is that following Jesus is not safe. My friend quoted C.S. Lewis here. I feel like I could sit and meditate on this quote for hours:
____
“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion."
"Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion"
..."Safe?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”
______
He's the king, I tell you.
On the way back from the retreat, my friend and I were discussing this very thing. There's a woman in this church who has three biological children and three adopted children and they are currently in the process of adopting four siblings. Because as this mom put it, "There is absolutely no way I could see how they live and then choose not to adopt them. So what if it will make vacations a little more difficult. How in the world could I not adopt them for that reason?"
We should be seeking to be poured out - not preserved. As my friend and I were discussing this on the way home, we were analyzing our own lives and taking stock of where we saw ourselves truly being poured out and where we realized we really had more to give.
"Are we choosing to be poured out for the glorification of Christ and the edification of the body?"
How about you? Are you setting your minds on the things of the flesh or on the things of the spirit? It's so convicting. But it's so good to be convicted.
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