Soft Hearts

My daughter was having an especially challenging afternoon the other day. It became apparent that the constant fighting was mostly her being very difficult toward her brother. When I went to talk to her, she stared at me with a very hard look in her eyes. I asked her a few questions like, “Are you being loving and kind right now?” She said no. “Why are you acting like this?” She didn’t know. “Is your heart hard or soft?” She said it was hard.

At this point in the conversation, my 4 year old son noticed a piece of cotton stuffing lying on the floor next to him. He picked it up and rubbed it on his sister’s chest right where her heart would be saying, “To make your heart soft.”

Everybody burst out laughing and somehow it actually worked. Her heart was softer the rest of the day.

He's a Sly One

A couple of weeks ago, my husband called to say they hadn’t needed all of the pizza they’d ordered for the college students and I didn’t need to make supper! My children were happily eating pizza in the kitchen and I went to the living room to take care of something. 

Upon my return, I discovered my 4 year old son had placed 7 pieces of pizza on his plate! I said in a very calm voice, “What in the world do you think you’re doing, mister?” He looked at me very seriously and said, “I touched all of these, Mom.”

I’ve been chuckling about this for weeks. He cracks me up.

The Noblest of His Race - What does it mean to be truly brave?

Bravery.

Knights slaying dragons. Men slaying giants. Warriors lining up for battle.

In our world of affirmation and self-esteem building, we mostly talk about bravery as something we’re already capable of – not as a high goal to be achieved. I’ve often heard it said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. I’m not doubting the truth of this expression, I’ve just started thinking about how we spend more time talking about the fear than we do the courage.

To be considered a coward was once more fearful to any virtuous man than facing certain death in the hands of a giant.

I keep thinking about how to teach my children to be brave – and to not be cowards.

I’m not even sure we would know how to appropriately label cowardly actions in our world, but if we did, I’m pretty sure we would just comfort with assurances that “even David was afraid of Goliath.” Because after all, if having courage involves also having fear than clearly that implies if you are fearful, you can at least identify with the courageous.



I’ve just started reading Westward Ho! by Charles Kingsley.  Written in 1855, I already know from the opening pages that Kingsley is primarily interested in offering pictures of heroes to be admired for their courage. It should have been written as “an epic,” he says, to preserve “the same great message which the songs of Troy… spoke to the hearts of all true Greeks of old.”

He writes of Sir Richard Grenvile, “ the noblest of his race” who has no patience for “any taint of cowardice or falsehood.” That’s a calling for which all young men should aspire – to be “the noblest of his race.”

But what does that look like? How do we become noble? 

Amyas wants to be brave. He’s speaking to Sir Richard Grenvile himself when he says, 

“I should like to be a brave adventurer, like Mr. Oxenham.” 

“God grant you become a braver man than he! For as I think, to be bold against the enemy is common to the brutes; but the prerogative of a man is to be bold against himself.” 

“How sir?” 

“To conquer our own fancies, Amyas, and our own lusts, and our ambition, in the sacred name of duty; this is to be truly brave, and truly strong; for he who cannot rule himself, how can he rule his crew or his fortunes?”

Do you feel like you were smacked in the gut?

I do. (And if you don’t, maybe you should read it again more slowly.)

To conquer my own fancies… and my own lusts… and my own ambition…  in the sacred name of duty.



Courage includes fear to be sure, but it’s so much more than that. This is a high calling. Lord, teach me to be truly brave and truly strong.